Firefighters Turn To Each Other For Support

What to say to your firefighter after a difficult call?

Discovering your firefighter has just responded to a difficult call feels altogether heartbreaking and curious. Do you ask about their experience knowing that they may or may not want to discuss the experience? Or, do you cook an emotionally-nourishing filet mignon dinner? It’s likely that your firefighter is in a state of shock even hours or days after responding to the scene of an accident, and discussing the experience with family may seem obligatory. And because our brains change and protect us through compartmentalization, the soothing tactics that once worked now don’t.

When my firefighting son goes on a traumatic call, I typically hear about it through the grapevine, usually through a text message from a golden friend whose husband is the Fire Chief. Sometimes, my son will share his experience, especially if it was another firefighter’s first time responding to a fatal scene. It always feels bittersweet: either life has been saved and leaves an energetic imprint, or life has transitioned and leaves a memory.

Over the years, I have seen a positive change in how our residential firefighting team handles their emotional trauma after a difficult toned call: they turn to each other for support.

The firefighters return to the firehall and gather in the meeting room to rub their eyes, take a deep breath, drink water, and notice the blood or chemicals on their skin or clothing. One person begins to speak, and then another until a woven story reads into the fabric of their consciousnesses and will serve as a reference for the next call. And there will be another call, maybe one more devastating than the last. But, these compassionate volunteers won’t balk when they hear the tone because they have learned about their style of leadership and are ready and willing to take action to help the next person in need.

Now-a-days, there is also a behavioral health counselor on site during an emergency for firefighters (and others) affected by trauma offering their trained services and support. Their skills remain a resource afterwards.

I hope my son and his team’s traumatic images will fade with time. Maybe instead of a steak dinner, a plate of brownies will help?